You know those moments when you are on automatic pilot and your mind is allowed to wander? Where do your thoughts take you? Recently mine took me on a ride that has freed me!
I was sitting in traffic on I-95 on a very hot summer day and a random thought popped in about how fixated we've (humanity) become on all things superficial - how we look, what we have, who we know. This was on the heels of my current obsession about whether or not to have a face lift, botox, filler or PDO threads to get rid of my jowls and lift my face to create thinner and more youthful appearance. My Higher Self took the opportunity while I was distracted to provide me a higher perspective in that moment.
This was the inner dialogue, in a nutshell:
"The only ones who will be remembered for what they looked like are those who made a career out of it."
"No one is going to look back at your life and say "Well, if she had been thinner or more beautiful, I might have liked her better."
"What do you want to be remembered for?"
WHOA! I was floored. Was it really that simple? Have I been so brainwashed by the media that I forgot what truly matters?
I felt like Bruce in Bruce Almighty when he was in the restaurant, hearing all the thoughts of those around him, overwhelming his own. Not only was I recalling all the negative, self-depreciating thoughts I've ever had about myself, but those of every woman and man who ever existed. It was deafening!
How much of our lives have we wasted fixating on the container and not on what's inside that ACTUALLY leaves the impression on those we come into contact with?
Think about it - look back over your life and remember those people who left the biggest impact on you. Do you remember what they looked like or do you remember HOW they made YOU feel?
Sit with that for a moment. Allow that awareness to settle in your bones and feel the shift.
We ARE energetic beings that intermingle our energies with every single person we come in contact with. The perfection of our face, our skin, our bodies has NO impact on the positive or negative impact we have in our environment.
What DOES have an impact is how we feel about ourselves. We cannot exude love and compassion to those around us if we are feeling low or disapprove of ourselves. This can and does impact our ability to form true connections with others. Sure, we can have relationships with others that are built on mutual distaste for certain things (fear, lack, hate - you get it). But those relationships will not fulfill your need for connection and ultimately offer very little positive impact on your life and those around you.
As I drove home, I imagined how people would describe me after I had died.
"She was a loyal and loving friend."
"She was the best nurse and saved many lives. She also helped those ready to transition in death in the most loving way."
"She went out of her way to make people feel loved, appreciated and cared for."
"She threw the BEST parties and was a great cook!"
"She was the most amazing Grandmother."
"She loved her family and friends fiercely."
"She was a ferocious learner and was always seeking."
This is how I would be remembered. I felt my heart bursting with love and appreciation of a life well lived. No where was there judgment on how sagging my face was, how big my ass was or how grey my hair was.
When I remember those in my past who left an indelible imprint on my life, I can't even recall their faces or bodies. I remember HOW they made me feel and what they taught me about life and about myself. Why would my life be any different?
For the first time in my life, I felt FREE. I felt free to live my life on my terms. To embrace aging with appreciation not disdain.
I've been given many beautiful gifts in my life, but this one was the most valuable. It has allowed me to walk throughout the rest of my life free of the burden of superficial self-judgment and to focus my attention on HOW I show up in the world.
I share this gift with all of you so that you can join me on the journey to self-acceptance and spreading of love and compassion.
How do you want to be remembered?